© 2019 by Allison Brost

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    The One Who Goes Before


    I frequently find myself opening the dresser drawers in our room to just peek at all the items waiting for this new little one. Shoes so tiny they seem made for a doll. Outfits neatly folded in stacks. And pink. Oh, so much pink.

    It’s been thirteen years since we’ve had a little girl. And while I love my boys more than I can even begin to say, I have always loved the idea of having another girl.

    But now that I’ve been told that we’re having our own, I feel as though I can’t even imagine it. It seems almost too good to be true.

    I’m so afraid to hold on to the hope that this dream could be fulfilled, that I hold back part of myself out of fear of being crushed again. I trust God, and yet part of me wants to hold Him at arms length because I just worry that I couldn’t handle if something did happen.

    And then a precious sister in Christ reminded me recently to just enjoy whatever time I’m given with this baby. She didn’t attempt to convince me that nothing bad will happen. She didn’t try to make me believe that life will suddenly be perfect. But she did help me to see I have today.

    No, I’m not promised tomorrow with my children. And none of us are promised that. But I do have right here. I do have right now. And if I let fear take over, it will take even that from me.

    I have less than two weeks till I’m supposed to be meeting this little girl. No, I can’t control what will happen in that time. I can’t guarantee that everything is going to turn out like I hope or that everything will go as I’m expecting.

    But I can choose how I embrace today. And so can you.

    If we allow it, fear from past disappointments will try to rob us of our present blessings. Maybe you had a spouse fail you in the past, and now you have an opportunity for a fresh start. Perhaps you’ve lost the dream job and now you’re too afraid to apply for anything else. Or maybe you’ve been betrayed and just the thought of putting yourself out there again makes you feel anxious.

    Friend, you’ve got nothing to lose by stepping out and trying. You’ll never regret making the most of today, but you will regret it if you don’t.

    Wherever life takes us, we don’t walk forward alone. Whatever tomorrow may hold, we already know the One who holds tomorrow. The One who goes before us. And it’s all in His hands.


    “The Lord is the One who goes ahead of you; He will be with you. He will not fail you nor forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed,” (Deuteronomy 31:8).

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